Episode 7: Moving Beyond the Comfort of Curated Speech

https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/simone-aliya/episodes/7. Moving Beyond the Comfort of Curated Speech-e30s73n

I recently discussed how speaking freely can trigger some people with OCD because they obsess about being clearly understood and clearly understanding others. They might also struggle with allowing others to speak freely. For the person with this kind of OCD, somebody showing signs of not totally understanding something they said can lead to intense discomfort and exhausting rituals that only refresh the anxiety. Their brains might interpret somebody disagreeing with them or even saying nothing in response as misunderstanding. The person with OCD often mentally resurrects interactions and then seeks reassurance from others to be absolutely sure about what was said, not said, and what it meant. They might also try to create “new and improved” interactions trying to establish clarity and understanding and resolve anxiety. As I said before, this is an impossible task when it comes to thinking and feeling, animate things like human beings. Let’s face it . . . we’re messy creatures! We remember things incorrectly, change our perspectives with time, and don’t always understand our own minds. To be human is to be unclear!

Well OCD tends to fixate on the particular details of particular situations—usually ones in the past or future. Zooming out and looking at bigger, relevant pictures can help restore us to the life that’s available in the present. Thinking more generally and larger than oneself is truly one of the best antidotes for self-focused, obsessive thinking. In that spirit, I’ll argue that people overly-curating what they say, trying to control the narrative, and censoring others in conversation to avoid disagreement and discomfort has become pervasive. I’d go as far as to say that trying to curate interactions in a futile attempt to avoid discomfort has become a public mental health issue! If you voted in the 2024 US Presidential election, you know what I’m talking about. But, of course, you don’t have to be American to experience how tense and controlling people can be in communication these days.

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