Episode 9: 10 Signs You Might be Hanging with a Bad Actor
https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/simone-aliya/episodes/9. 10 Signs You Might Be Hanging with a Bad Actor-e31kct2
You might be reading this wanting to know how I ended up alone in Sicily, not eating pizza but getting an important reminder---something I mentioned in the last episode, Part I of this discussion. Well let me tell you, I’m going to give you a little bit of my story and a whole lot more in this episode, offering you ten signs that somebody you’re with might not be as honest and nice as they say they are. In Episode 8, I shared five reasons why having OCD makes you extra susceptible to lovebombing, gaslighting, and other forms of manipulation. Anybody in the wrong place at the wrong time can be targted and hurt by socially irresponsible, inapppropriate, and abusive behavior. As I said last episode, it’s like anybody can catch an illness, but those who have a compromised immune system have a greater chance and willl likely have more severe symptoms. However, until you start paying closer attention and learning to sniff these people out like they sniff you out, you’ll likely be chosen and severely impacted by bad actors over and over again. Why? Because of self-doubt, low self-esteem, being distracted by your obsessions and compulsions, and already having the wiring for being hooked and tormented with intermitten rewards. If you haven’t already listened to Part I, the eighth episode, I highly recommmend going back before listening to this episode on what to do to protect yourself.
Before sharing my list of ten signs that somebody you’re with might not have your best interest in mind or be a healthy person to get involved with, I want to clarify a couple of things in a non-OCD way. Not all people who systematically manipulate or mistreat others do all of these things on the list. And if they do, they don’t do all of them at all times with all people. My list is also not comprehensive, as much as my OCD loves a comprehensive list. Of course, there are more than ten ways people subtly reveal they aren’t safe and, naturally, many ways I’m not listing of being overtly abusive. Here, however, I’m focusing specifically on red flags that, from my own extensive experience, people can easily miss and be harmed by (especially people with OCD and other mental health conditions) if they aren’t paying close attention. They are also things that, if you are present and tuned in, you can easily notice about somebody so that you can the decide to slow the pace of the relationship, place someone on the periphery, or move away from them entirely. It’s all up to you! It’s time to start taking back your power.
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